There were two really smart teammates A and B , from a different department then me, in one of my meetings. I wondered to my myself : Both of them are so committed and smart and inquisitive , and know so much of the system and are asking important questions to improve it further.
Then i felt differently: I felt one of them ( A) was doing a little bit better than other (B).
I then had a thought experiment. What if B realizes that he is not doing as good as A. What if he starts comparing himself to A. So far A and B are both doing amazingly good , and are enjoying there jobs , but once B starts comparing himself and realizes he is not as good as A , this very thought can reduce his self confidence and interest in what he is doing. Things could become worse for B , if despite his best efforts he is not able to be as good as A.
The decline of self-confidence starts with comparing yourself to others.
What is the meaning of self-confidence ?
Self-confidence is a belief in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. It is the trust and faith in oneself that allows a person to take on challenges, overcome obstacles, and achieve their goals. A person who is self-confident is typically secure in their own worth and has a positive outlook on life. This can manifest in various ways, such as being assertive, taking risks, and standing up for oneself. Self-confidence is an important trait that can help individuals succeed in various aspects of life, including personal relationships, career, and other pursuits.
How does comparison affect self confidence ?
Comparison can have a significant impact on self-confidence. When individuals constantly compare themselves to others, they often end up feeling inferior or inadequate, which can negatively affect their self-confidence. This is because comparison tends to focus on the differences between oneself and others rather than the similarities and strengths that each person possesses.
For example, if someone is constantly comparing themselves to others who they perceive as more successful, attractive, or talented, they may begin to feel that they are not good enough or that they will never measure up to those standards. This can create a cycle of self-doubt and negative self-talk that can erode self-confidence over time.
On the other hand, focusing on one’s own progress and accomplishments without comparing oneself to others can help build self-confidence. This involves setting personal goals, working towards them, and acknowledging one’s achievements along the way. Celebrating small wins and recognizing personal growth can help individuals feel more confident and capable, which can contribute to a positive self-image.
In summary, while it is natural to compare oneself to others, it is important to remember that each individual is unique and has their own strengths and weaknesses. By focusing on personal growth and progress rather than comparison, individuals can build a strong sense of self-confidence.
Is Comparison different from Competition. Is being competitive healthy. How does being competitive affect your self-confidence. Can it have a positive effect. ?
Comparison and competition are different concepts, although they can both have an impact on self-confidence.
Comparison involves looking at oneself in relation to others, whereas competition involves striving to be better than others in a specific area, often through comparison. While comparison can lead to negative feelings and self-doubt, competition can be healthy if approached in the right way.
Being competitive can be healthy if it is focused on personal growth and improvement, rather than solely on winning or beating others. Competition can provide motivation and a sense of challenge, which can be energizing and help individuals achieve their goals. In healthy competition, individuals strive to do their best and learn from their experiences, rather than focusing solely on winning or losing.
However, being overly competitive can also have negative effects on self-confidence. If winning becomes the sole focus, individuals may become overly self-critical or develop a fear of failure, which can erode their self-confidence over time. In addition, constantly comparing oneself to others in a competitive environment can lead to feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt.
In summary, competition can be healthy for self-confidence if it is approached in a balanced way, with a focus on personal growth and improvement rather than solely on winning. However, it is important to be mindful of the potential negative effects of comparison and to develop a healthy relationship with competition that supports, rather than detracts from, self-confidence.
So being overtly competitive can create a fear of failure. What are the some of the other ways people develop a fear of failure ? How does “perfectionism” fit into all this ?
There are many ways in which people can develop a fear of failure, including:
- High expectations: When people set very high expectations for themselves, they may feel that any failure to meet those expectations is a sign of personal inadequacy.
- Criticism and rejection: Negative feedback or criticism from others, or experiences of rejection, can contribute to a fear of failure by reinforcing the idea that one’s efforts are not good enough.
- Past failures: Previous experiences of failure can create a fear of failing again in the future, leading individuals to avoid taking risks or trying new things.
- Social pressure: Pressure from peers, family, or society to succeed or achieve can create a fear of failure by raising the stakes of any potential failure.
Perfectionism is often closely linked to a fear of failure. Perfectionists have very high standards for themselves and may believe that anything less than perfection is unacceptable. This can create a constant sense of pressure to perform at an impossibly high level, which can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and a fear of failure.
In summary, a fear of failure can be caused by a variety of factors, including high expectations, criticism and rejection, past failures, and social pressure. Perfectionism often plays a role in this fear, as perfectionists set impossibly high standards for themselves and may feel that any failure to meet those standards is unacceptable. By understanding the root causes of a fear of failure, individuals can work to develop a healthier relationship with success and failure, and build their self-confidence over time.
I need to remember my Disc study outcome and how all of this fits into my personality. Why i am trying so hard to create an environment/situation , where success will be very certain. ( not really a bad thing - but a positive outcome ). And that all of this is not necessarily required.
A capital of 2m and burning 500k out of that , over 5 years , lets me enjoy the journey of being my own boss , building something useful , which most likely will get 1000 subscribers over 5 years and be profitable and then play the infinite game.